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Helping Kids With ADHD Succeed in School

Summary & Participants

A typical school day can put stress on any child. For children with ADHD, the academic and social demands of school can be overwhelming. How can parents help, and how can they know when to help? Tune in for expert advice from Patricia Quinn, MD.

Medically Reviewed On: June 25, 2008

Webcast Transcript

But these are very important. The orderliness, the organization, the structure and setting up routines at home will help a child perform better. And, you know, a lot of these kids-- their tone for the day is set by the frustration and disorganization even before they leave their house in the morning. And if we can eliminate that, they'll be starting their day on a much better note than the disorganization that usually happens at home getting out in the morning.

ANQOINETTE CROSBY: And what can parents do to help their children with social difficulties?

PATRICIA QUINN, MD: Parents can help kids with their social skills in many ways. One of the ways that I've found to be most effective is role-playing. If a child's having difficulty joining in a group or if they're having difficulty socially, relating to the other kids. If the parent can role-play some of that and give the child actually a script.

Telling a child that using the other child's name makes them more likable. Or asking about the other child instead of talking about themselves. Saying, "What is your favorite color?" or "What's your favorite TV show?" So if you start role-playing and writing scripts and showing the child how they can do that, that's useful.

ANQOINETTE CROSBY: We know that children are often rebellious, so if you find that they are not being receptive to your efforts, then what do you do?

PATRICIA QUINN, MD: That's a great question, because it is extremely difficult to raise kids in general, but kids with ADHD can be even more trying.

We have several suggestions for that. If you need help in parenting technique, certainly get it. If you're having difficulty with knowing how to handle a situation, there are lots of experts and books out there that you can read to give you some help in those areas.

But I think, again, taking breaks for yourself. Taking care of yourself as a parent of these children is very important. You need to get support for yourself. You need to avoid burnout. You need to get your spouse or partner or someone else to relieve you sometimes. Having these kids go to a special camp for kids with ADHD, or spend some time at a grandparent will give you a break.

But in order for you to be able to deal with these issues in a calm, supportive way, you need to frequently get help for yourself and support for yourself. And I highly encourage every parent who needs to do that to look for areas within the community or within their circle for ways to get themselves some support.

ANQOINETTE CROSBY: So it is okay to admit that, some days, you're not handling it well.

PATRICIA QUINN, MD: Absolutely. Also, when we make mistakes, to apologize. You know, frequently these kids do elicit either yelling or angry responses. And we're all very often sorry for things we've said or done with our children. And I think as a parent, again, one of the most important things is to be consistent, but also to acknowledge when you make mistakes. And -- by setting up -- "No one's perfect and I did not react appropriate, but here's a way that I can handle it. I can apologize and I can then work differently or work harder to not make that mistake again."

We're teaching and, again, modeling for our kids ways to handle when we make mistakes. And I think that's an important point as well.

ANQOINETTE CROSBY: You've given us some very useful information, but if you had one message to give to parents about helping their children with ADHD, what would it be?

PATRICIA QUINN, MD: I think it's really helping your child-- being a support for your child. Believing in your child. Kids with ADHD have so much difficulty and they're really fighting so many battles out there when they leave the home.

If a parent can believe in their child and convey that to their child, that there is a life after school. That this is not the most important thing that's going to happen. Being a good person and working hard and having those values-- doing the best you can do, even if that means you may fail a test in history in fifth grade.

We find that the kids with ADHD or the adults with ADHD that are most successful are the ones that can believe in themselves and understand that with hard work and getting the help you need, you can be successful despite your ADHD. And if a parent can convey that by loving their child, by believing in them, and by supporting them, that's their most important role and their most important job.

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